Have you ever had a craving for something that just wouldn’t leave you alone? This insidious, destructive craving follows you around the house, the yard, and worst of all – the grocery store – whispering in your ear like a devil on your shoulder, posting little pictures of itself everywhere.
My devil, today anyway (tomorrow it could be something different – like, vodka) is chocolate chips. Chocolate chip cookies, to be precise. For some reason, I woke up this morning thinking about them. And the problem is that we have them. In the cupboard. Just to my left. I damn near had them for breakfast.
The weather is warm, nay, hot now. I can no longer disguise winter’s pudge under layers of clothing. The gig is up, so to speak, with my body. Suffice it to say, the LAST thing I need in this world is chocolate chips in any form whatsoever.
I have armed myself all day, girded myself against this devil in the chocolate chips. I got up at 6:30 a.m. and went for a
run fast walk. Truth be told I went for this pseudo-run not because I wanted to escape the chocolate chips but because I was so mad at one of my kids I felt it safer to be running walking quickly away from the house as opposed to staying in it but never mind that. It was a rare and beautiful interlude of healthy living (except for what I was wearing but never mind that either).
Around 10 a.m., as I sat typing away furiously on a short story that might turn into something bigger (some day), I could feel the chewy, delicious presence of those cookies in the cupboard next to me. It sucks sometimes having nowhere else to write but my kitchen table; every time I get up to stretch my legs, one of my legs runs into a refrigerator or a pantry door. However, I’ve deemed it highly unproductive to write upstairs lying in bed on the basis that falling asleep is no better for my career than eating chocolate chip cookies is for my waistline.
I finished the short story/something bigger and decided to reward myself for a) finishing a project, albeit a small one, and b) not throttling the above-mentioned irritating child this morning, and c) going for my little
run fast walk. I deserved some summer clothing and maybe some exercise clothes that didn’t make me look like Maxine the cranky greeting card lady.
Before someone who might be reading this gets upset, let it be said that I was going to attempt to buy something ONLY if it was a HARD-CORE bargain. I was hungry when I left the house (which I thought might work to my wallet’s advantage). I knew I couldn’t buy a pair of shorts AND eat out so I had to buy and lunch at home. It made for a quick shopping expedition.
Came home, ate a sensible lunch followed by an apple and a big glass of water in hopes of drowning that irritating little devil that still said I should indulge in chocolate chip cookies. He is still there, taunting me. If someone should come home tonight and eat chocolate chip cookies in front of me, that someone might just be sleeping in the back yard.