Aaaaah. I sit in total solitude, eyes closed. It’s 8:27 a.m. and the last kidlet has left the house – Winter Break is over and I’ve got my house back. I plop on the floor and try to relish the silence but am soon overwhelmed by the wet tongue of our latest houseguest, Miss Annie-Bear who is not a bear but a small dog. Then, Mad Alyss arrives, starts swatting the dog and my brief moment of peace is over.
Nonetheless, the house is mine. My Man is back to work, the kids are back to school. I am on my own. Sure, back to work and back to school means no more lazy mornings lying in bed until 10 a.m. but that’s ok. It was time. I was starting to drift like a boat without a rudder and the constant presence of others in my space was rapidly driving me mad.
Some consider my love of alone-ness problematic and unnatural. I know so many people who must be constantly plugged into some device or have some sort of noise filtering through their bodies – stereo, television. To me, that is unnatural. What could be more organic and natural than silence? Solitude and it’s accompanying silence is so necessary for deep reflection, thought, and meditation. Quiet is essential to me and the only way I can write. I envy people who can write novels in coffee shops and on the subway. I’m just not wired that way. So, alone I must be – but with purpose.
The purpose, in this New Year, is not much changed from other years: write, take care of me & my loved ones, eat healthier, and hold on to the wispy threads of my sanity. To find a viable source of income without resorting to selling internal organs would be nice, too. All of this takes work, focus, determination, and resolve. Oh, and patience. And, of course, quiet.
In the newly peaceful house, I will contemplate how to achieve my goals and then…off we go then, time to get to work.