Goodbye, Goop


Gwyneth & I go way back.  Sure we do.  I’ve always liked her, aspired to her seemingly effortless beauty and blondness (always falling short, literally)  She is a talented actress and seems like a nice girl so when Goop came out and she started getting flack for it, I signed up.  I saw no reason for anyone to diss her for branching out and sharing some recipes and such.  Also, I was curious.  Her Thanksgiving turkey recipe looked really good.  What’s wrong with a skinny blond who loves to eat?

In the beginning, when Goop Do, Go, or Get popped into my inbox, I’d read it start to finish.  The recipes were good although some of them were time consuming.  Clearly, Apple and Whats-His-Name don’t play competitive soccer or do taekwondo five nights a week.  But, her writing was good, the places and things she highlighted were interesting if a little outside my world but that’s what made it kind of fun.  It was the “Get” newsletter showcasing her friend’s babywear line that burst my Goop bubble…

Lest anyone think I’m faulting Gwynnie for this, I’m not.  Her world is her world.  Throughout the year she has always championed her friends and has been steadfast in supporting their endeavours; I think that is a lovely quality.  That’s what friends do for each other.  It’s the fact that Gwyneth and her friends live in a different stratosphere from me that’s…well, depressing.

I was in the market for some baby-wear, actually.  My niece had just given birth to the cutest baby on the planet (shout out to Sunny!!)  and I thought the rompers and little dresses highlighted in Goop were adorable…until I saw the prices (they were in Pounds but the conversion from “Oh, that’s so CUTE” to “Holy Frick that’s a lotta of money” was easy enough.)  There were onesies for 125 Pounds.  Oh.  I quietly deleted the newsletter, hating Gwyneth and her well-t0-do skinny Mommy friends, just for a moment.

As the weeks went on, I avoided Goop.  When I did open it, I found it was an invitation to participate in a world I didn’t live in.  I can’t shell out thousands for a diet and exercise program from Tracy although I wish I could because I know that with Tracy’s help, I could be impossibly thin AND fit.   I would love to kick around the south of Spain, drinking organic sangria and exploring the shops but my son needs braces.

So,be gone, Goop.  I need to find fun things to do, get, and see here in my world. If I win the Lottery, I promise I’ll sign up again.  Until then G, good luck with everything.  Love ya.


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